Longform
The Hairiest Hobo.
Like many, I’ve spent the past while trying to make sense of a twitter/X free existence. Life was simpler then, really. You used your account on the bird site and everyone was there. Generally, it was really quite enjoyable, then it wasn’t. Safe to say, any right-minded person arrived at the latter at some point. But a twitter free existence has thrown a spanner in the works. I think the majority of people have spread their chips and are maintaining a presence across multiple platforms. Very sensible, too.
Confusion.
I left Meta, like many, lock, stock, and barrel. Goodbye, Instagram, farewell Facebook and toodle-oo Threads. And good riddance to apps that have irritated me for a good long time now by showing me mostly stuff I would rather not see. I’m doubly irritated now there’s no word for goodbye that begins with an I.
So I’ve been on Micro.blog for ages and love it, and Bluesky has been there from a time when everyone was scrabbling for invitation codes. I am on Mastodon, but rarely actually check in there — in fact, I moved to a Pixelfed instance as an alternative to Insta.
Micro.blog makes it easy to cross-post everywhere else, I mean ridiculously easy. There’s barely a post I make that doesn’t start there.
Threads and Bluesky users are already starting some funky West Side Story shenanigans, the former accusing the latter of smugness and pomposity, the latter chuckling at the sad losers still using a social-media app that shows them what the app wants, rather than what they want to see. If one Threads user clicks their fingers at me in intimidatingly, I won’t be responsible for my actions. I don’t take disrespect lying down, but rather curled in a ball pleading not the face, please not the face!.
Each to their own I say, people will find their community eventually.
The Other Places.
I’m a man with a social media presence and few followers. It’s a shame really, because I find myself hilarious. Their loss.
Substack seems like the destination for many creatives now, in fact a lot of comics/writers/musicians I admire seem to have a presence there. I’ll be honest, I find it intimidating. To hit the follower jackpot there seems so unlikely, I wonder whether it’s worth it? Brave Ben, the Ben that meets intimidating dancers head on with a shake of his voluminous badonkadonk says of course it’s worth it until you try, you don’t know. In fact, why don’t I maintain two blogs on there, and see what pans out?
The talk about it being a platform that allows, nay, encourages hate speech does worry me. I left Meta for those exact reasons and have no wish to spend time in such places.
But people I like are there, people who I know are on the same political spectrum as me. You know, nice people.
So I’m going to give it a go and at the first sniff of vileness, I’m likely to be off.
My Week.
Well, it started off with a doctor’s appointment as I’ve been feeling off of late with palpitations and the like. My heart is fine, but my cholesterol is up (again). As I’m a vegetarian with pretty decent fitness, I can thank genetics for having to go back on statins again.
Got a good few dog walks in, though there’s trees blocking my usual route.
I’ve read very little since my, frankly, impressive assault on literature during the power cut and internet outage but have written more of my fantasy novel every day.
I’ve also cleaned out the fridge and veg tray, which was harbouring lifeforms that could well lunge given a few more weeks.
Have a productive weekend, everyone!
The Storm.
Well, it was a bad one, as promised. We lost power sometime in the early hours of Friday morning and got it back around 16:00hrs on the Saturday. Fair play to those out in what was still terrible conditions fixing everything.
The internet was out of service until Monday evening, and while it was lovely being nice and warm with light, power, and everything else, you don’t half realise how much time you spend idly scrolling through that glowing rectangular box.
We lost our fence at the most exposed side of the house, totally flattened, and a few roof tiles and adjoining bits have been wrenched free and scattered over the garden — but we came out of it relatively unscathed otherwise.
With no TV, no streaming services in particular, it’s been a great opportunity to power through some reading, and I’ve done just that. Read The Hobbit under a blanket and via the assistance of a head torch, which was quite magical as it happens. Visited Isaac Asimov’s Foundation and Empire for the first time and marvelled at just how much influence it had on my favourite book The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which made me feel so much better at my attempts to write and the influence Adams has on me.
I also devoured Stephen King’s The Gunslinger and once again felt like gnawing my leg off with envy at just how good a writer he is.
Last, but not least, I read the excellent Jennifer Killick’s Deadly Deep, the fourth in her wonderfully exciting Dread Wood children’s horror series. She’s the best at what she does, a truly brilliant writer.
After the Storm.
The trees are down, again, up my local walking trail, so my mindless walk along the same paths every day has to be changed up a bit. The dogs didn’t seem to mind, and neither did I.
I’ll get back to writing this evening, too.
Grimwood — Attack of the Stink Monster! By Nadia Shireen.
The third in the incredibly silly Grimwood series sees our heroes hunting for a smelly Bigfoot who is loitering with presumably horrid intent around their forest home.
Written and brilliantly illustrated by the author herself, Attack of the Stink Monster! is an entertaining tale of friendship, family, and checks notes the eating of small, cute, furry creatures by a terrifyingly taloned predator (though it’s the funny type of small, cute, furry, creatures consumption, not the gruesome sort).
The jokes come thick and fast, the silliness comes daft and progressively dafter.
At its heart, and Grimwood is full of heart, the book is not just a story absolutely packed with gags, both written and illustrated, but tenderness between wildly different characters. They accept each other for who they are (even if a peckish eagle gobbles up a pal or two along the way) and love each other despite their differences — not to mention the fact that most inhabitants are barking mad.
Nadia has created such a wonderful world, I can’t wait for the next one.
📚👧🏽
My Discworld Odyssey.🦧
As I’ve posted before, I was late to the work of Terry Pratchett, namely his Discworld series, and am working through them in order. I enjoyed the first two books featuring Rincewind, but book three ‘Equal Rites’ featuring the formidable Granny Weatherwax really sung to me. So much so that I’ve completed it in one day. Such a clever, yet silly, world.
Cross-Posting Blues.
Cross-posting is becoming increasingly tricky to maintain. I follow some on Micro.blog and Mastodon , then factor in BlueSky and it seems to become overly confusing (for me) where to reply sometimes. I love M.b, the Mastodon instance I’m on is a great place and in the space of a week BlueSky has gone from somewhere I wasn’t keen on to an interesting and pleasant social media experience.
Missing my Runs.
I adore my walks with Leela and Shane, but my body misses my runs. I think Leela misses our runs, too. Shane, bless him, loves his sprints around the garden but there’s too many scents to distract him on a 5km+ jaunt, so we all just walk and allow him to do what makes him happy. I’m not sure there’s enough hours in the day for walks, for runs, for hobbies and housework - but maybe I need to make some time. 🐕🏃🏻
Placing Those Stickers. 💻📝
Bought some stickers for my MacBook Air that I, ultimately, couldn’t bring myself to use (aside from the ‘Don’t Panic!’ one I placed on the trackpad). Anyway, with the cable-tidy box delivered yesterday, that nice clean surface seems ideal for them. Everything I bought is in some way a huge influence on my writing, from (mostly) my childhood to now. I hope they remind me of what I want to achieve, and why I want to achieve it.
Storms and Stuff.
The day started with another power cut (I’m boring myself now, too) and at the time of writing the double espresso I consumed this afternoon is causing havoc with my nerves. My lack of willpower with junk food is hampering any chance of regaining my pre-lockdown weight, but aside from all that I’m doing alright. Can’t do anything about the weather, rarely have espressos and will probably avoid in future and my weight is in my own hands. I don’t like carrying extra weight, it makes me sluggish and unhappy, so I just need to regain that same mindset that benefitted me before.
Readwise and Reader - Irreplacable?
After cancelling almost every subscription in favour of the Apple ecosystem, I’m struggling to find a workflow to replicate the majesty of Readwise and Reader. I’ve almost, but not quite, got Notes to try and keep things in place, but it’s not the same. I know Notes has its place in my workflow, but it can’t do the things Readwise and Reader can in bringing those long forgotten pieces of text to the forefront and doing it so unintrusively. 💻📝
Buddhism and Me.
Watching Monty Don’s Japanese Gardens This episode concentrates mainly on Zen Buddhism and zen gardens. I awkwardly refer to myself as ‘an atheist with Buddhist leanings’ and while zen is a difficult thing to get one’s mind around, I think it’s potentially life changing. Of course mindfulness has arisen from this, which has rocketed in popularity in the west - and with good reason too. I really should actually take time to practice this, and not just when my mood takes a dip. 📺🪷
Burnley News ⚽️.
Great news for us Clarets. With the investment from JJ and Kealia Watt, it really seems like we have stepped up a level off the field as well.⚽️ Vincent Kompany Signs New Contract.
Procrastination Ruminations.
Football (soccer here in Ireland, and the U.S., but it will always be ‘footy’ to me) season is almost over, so what will I procrastinate to now? Will I spend time in the garden with my chillies and tomatoes? Will I carve out that writing routine that’s eluded me since NaNoWriMo? Will I work out how to juggle lazy walks with my lurcher alongside rediscovering a running regime with my terrier?
’The Satsuma Complex’ - Bob Mortimer. Review.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
An enjoyable novel debut proper from the delightfully daft Mortimer.
It took a little while to get into the rhythm of the story, there’s an awkwardness to the dialogue that is deliberate given the main-character’s social awkwardness and subsequent journey. It has Mortimer’s surreal whimsy running through and once it hits its stride it’s superb.
Having read his autobiography, I feel Mortimer doesn’t realise just how good a writer he is. The main character here is based on himself back at the same age complete with crippling shyness and loneliness. The writing occasionally lacks confidence, despite being excellent. It’s not quite the wall to wall silliness one would expect from him, the book deals with murder, corruption and relationship abuse but there’s more than enough daftness to keep Mortimer’s fans happy.
I look forward to his next novel. Hopefully this one will have given him a shot of confidence.
NaNoWriMo—Week Three.
Just over 41,000 words written and despite running out of road, I haven’t stopped driving. Or learning, there’s been plenty of that as well.
Things I’ve learned:-
As Terry Pratchett so eloquently said, There’s no such thing as writer’s block. That was invented by people in California who couldn’t write.
I actually thought this was nonsense, to be honest. The unfair ramblings of a genius writer. I imagine, now, he had days that he had to drag the words out, but writer’s block? Nah. The words may be absolute rubbish, but they’re still words. In among the poor descriptions, tedious dialogue and other nonsense is something. That something doesn’t even have to take your story anywhere, it doesn’t even have to be part of the story you’re working on. Just write; write anything. Don’t think, either (that part actually comes effortlessly to me, I have to admit. I can spend hours not thinking, I can do that in my sleep.)
So yes, just write—don’t judge as Right Said Fred in the nineties. Possibly, I wasn’t paying attention.
The other thing I’ve learned about my writing is this:-
I need to plan.
Another genius writer, Stephen King, was pretty disparaging about people who plot books and don’t just see where the story and characters take you. It works for him, the man can write. For me? No, a disaster.
I’d planned, haphazardly, scenes for the first half of the novel. Little notes about scenes, the next scene, that kind of thing. When I ran out of markers, I ran out of story. The climax came almost half-way through, which rendered my mind blank.
That said, it’s got me thinking about that climax. It isn’t the climax, it’s a step-up to that. I need to make the climax even more exciting, I need to write three or four more climaxes and push myself. I must give my characters three choices of road, two of which lead to paradise, passive woodland creatures and a waterfall made of chocolate (I think I’ve been beaten to that idea, so that’s probably a good thing). No, I’ll send them down the road marked ‘Danger’ with glowing eyes peering out of the tree-line, ghosts telling them to turn back and an utter disregard for common sense. That’s what I’d like to read, anyway.
In just these situations, Eoin Colfer often writes They do something clever to escape… and moves on with the story. I like that advice.
My book, that story that has been rattling around in the empty space I call a skull for some twenty years, won’t be completed this NaNoWriMo. And that’s OK, I’ve accepted that. I’ll have 50,000 words come the end of it, that I guarantee. Lots of story, loads of learning, and the seed, the nucleus, for the proper attempt I’ll make—planned, plotted and crafted meticulously—to take it over the line.
NaNoWriMo - Week Two.
30,008 words down in just under two weeks so I am slightly ahead of the curve. In the grand tradition of the affectionately named vomit draft the story is all over the place - but that’s OK, it’s meant to be.
You can’t get out backwards. You’ve gotta go forwards to go backwards - Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
By now in previous attempts, I’ve given up. The story isn’t good enough, I’m refining words written in previous days and not progressing forwards. This year, I’m sticking to the mantra of moving ever forwards, even if I have to drag the words out and kick the story down the proverbial road. I’ll be honest, the last two days have been hell. I think I’ve peaked too early with a dramatic scene, but I’m keeping it in and ramping up the drama from here. That’s my challenge because safe is boring. Put characters through hell, that’s what readers want to see.
How am I going to do that? Absolutely no idea, to be honest.
Am I worried? Absolutely. I know my ending, but I’m not sure how to sustain another 20,000 words to get there. Truthfully, I think there are scenes still to be written in and among those already typed. If I come-up short, I’ll still get to those 50,000 words.
I’m surprising myself with a lot of ideas and dialogue that are exposing character traits that didn’t occur in the, frankly, chaotic planning I did beforehand. I think if, no, when I do this again I will plan more thoroughly.
All in all, I’m happy.
NaNoWriMo Week One.
Surprisingly, it’s gone well. Even on the more difficult days, I’ve powered through and written something that drags the story forward. Oddly the scenes that I thought were clearer in my head have caused me the most difficulty and the scenes I entered into with little clue have been an absolute pleasure.
Most of what I’m writing is dialogue, though there are some scenes that are coming to me visually. No matter, just keep moving forward.
Heading into week two, I hope for more of the same. Keep writing, not judging, ignore the voice of criticism and avoid the temptation to go backwards for review.
Total - 15,005 words.
NaNoWriMo.
Like many of you on MicroBlog, I’m going to give NaNoWriMo a good go this November. Like some of you, I’ve tried before and like a few of you I’ve failed to get anywhere near the 50,000 words – or even get a decent routine going - in previous attempts.
It’s fair to say that being a procrastinator is a barrier to achieving a lot in life. Procrastination is an extension of anxiety, anxiety is an extension of poor self-esteem and fear. There are those out there who fly through life with little more than a winning smile and an outrageous amount of bottle. I admire these people, I really do, but from a distance and without interacting with them.
I left my career as a mental health nurse in 2018 after some twenty years. Truth be told, I wasn’t ever enthusiastic about the job. I cared, and I always treated both the service users and staff with respect, but I fell into the career as both my parents were mental health nurses, and it seemed like the right thing to do. There wasn’t any pressure, I think I lacked imagination regarding opportunities and seeking those opportunities out.
Anyway, a few days before my final shift, I had an epiphany. I was still a staff nurse, the same grade (essentially) as the day I qualified. Nothing wrong with that, plenty of nurses stay a staff-nurse and work happily until retirement. The difference was, I was a passenger in my own decision. It wasn’t a conscious one, I had just remained a staff-nurse because I hadn’t tried to push myself any higher.
This turned my mind on to my dream career as a writer. I’d tried, and failed, to get a routine going with my writing and always quit when things got tough (which they always do, don’t they?) Even now, I’ve got a completed story ready to send off to agents that I’m procrastinating/scared about. I’ve drafted that many times, I’m starting to go cross-eyed. Sure, it isn’t perfect – but that’s the thing; if a writer is waiting for the perfect draft, then no stories get completed. At some point, it has to be set free and, of course, better ideas and ways to improve it will inevitably come to mind.
Which Leads me to…
The reason for this blog. Tomorrow (31/12/22) I am going to send my story for younger children off to five agents. Chances are, no-one will be interested, but you know what? I’ll send it off to some more.
Meanwhile, in NaNoWriMo, I will do everything I can to write a story that has been hanging around my brain for over two-decades. I’m scared stiff, to be honest. There are plots I’m stumped over, but I believe if you put the effort in, then the universe will drop the answers in your lap – as long as you keep your eyes open.
This is my way of keeping myself accountable, and I intend to blog every Sunday to update my progress.
Thanks for reading.
Battling Procrastination and Fear.📝
In August 2018, I left mental health nursing to stay at home full time with my kids. Including my training I had been nursing from October 1996 and it’s all I ever really knew, starting at the age of 19.
I’ve never been one to push myself; I went in, did my job to the best of my abilities and went home. All very well and good, I hope I helped some people along the way and was pleasant and professional to work with.
Reflecting on my imminent departure from nursing, it suddenly struck me that I was the same grade as when I started. Absolutely nothing wrong with that, nothing at all, but the thing that struck me the most was that I had not made an active decision in this. Twenty years or so had passed by, and I had been a passenger in my life rather than taking control and looking at improving myself. It was a pretty sobering realisation, frankly, and far too late for that chapter of my life.
Procrastination has always been an issue for me, fear has always ruled my life. If something was hard to do, if I couldn’t grasp it immediately, it would likely slowly evaporate from my life. If I did manage to keep going with anything, if that routine got disrupted due to unforeseen circumstances such as a poorly child, or school-holidays, chances are I would struggle to pick that habit back up again.
It’s been a long-standing dream of mine to write a children’s book. A head full of ideas and dreams is just the beginning, sitting in front of an empty page is both terrifying and difficult. Every so often the words flow, more often than not it’s a struggle. When it’s a struggle, more often than not I’d give up. So far, so typical me.
I had promised myself that by the time I turned 40, I would have submitted work to an agent and now, at the age of 43, I’m having those pangs of regret again. I can’t change the way I have been, but I can try to take control of my dreams and know, one way or the other, if they are realistic or not. This blog could well be a great way of keeping me in check and accountable.
Thanks for reading.